How can I be happy? pt2
For me, happiness comes from various places.When my brother is engaged with the new lesson I taught him, I find happiness. When my my dad safely commutes to and from work every day. When I smell my mom cooking Samgyupsal (Korean pork dish). When my friend understands why I do me, I again find happiness.
But none of these specific instances result in happiness if you yourself is struggling internally. To me, all of these examples give me happiness because I feel like I am learning to be responsible for my thoughts and actions, and consequently learn who I am.
Personally, I wasn't really happy in college since freshman year.
I struggled a lot with an identity problem. I was really, really obsessed (I still am) with finding out who I am, what I stand for, and what I was passionate about. It was just hard for me because I am naturally a flexible, gullible person.
Whenever someone disagreed on a topic with me, they could provide a few more logical arguments, and I could easily understand their side. And many times, I believed them. I did not know what was right or wrong, and I didn't think hard enough to judge for myself. I simply didn't care.
But this issue slowly digged itself deeper, and I had to start making decisions on my own and make my own judgments and opinions and stick with them. I always had a hard time with it, and I still do.
Struggling with this problem really hazed my studying and made the journey to finding my identity even more confusing. But very slowly ... I think I am making a progress. After a lot of self-reflection and TED talks and many many mistakes, I am learning to be more confident in my decisions and myself.
1) Create your passions.
I don't believe in finding your passions.
You don't all of a sudden discover a new topic and confirm that you want to pursue it throughout your entire life.
You have to ACTIVELY study and read about a subject you may be interested in and then you might end up staying engaged. You become more "passionate" about something once you learn more and ultimately find out that you can start from nothing to an intermediate and then maybe even an expert level after dedicated long hours and hard effort into a subject.
And after working hard into that subject, you might look back and say, I am truly happy with what I have achieved.
2) Be vulnerable to your trusted ones.
Show yourself. Be transparent with them when you need help.
This helps them trust in you more as well. By developing this trusted relationship, you will make deeper friendships where you might find bits of happiness.
3) Body can change your mind.
My all-time favorite TED talk, Your body language shapes who you are, speaks out the most to me.
Most people agree that mind can change the body. But how many thought about the opposite way?
If you have seen how animals pose, the dominant ones make themselves big. They take up space and their surroundings.
Amy Cuddy in the TED talk emphasizes that by making yourself big, you can make the power form. Here is an example: http://nhne-pulse.org/wp-
The power form can help you have the confidence to fully voice your opinions. This trick will help you in any social and personal circumstances. Trust me on this one; this can not only help you with everyday interactions or super tense interviews but also help you take charge of your thoughts and emotions as an individual. This is the ultimate way you can pave your path towards happiness.
4) Chocolate
And maybe some indulging now and then.
Life is like one delicious ice-cream. So enjoy it to the fullest before it melts away! :)
Guest Writer
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